Capped fucking internet and other annoying things

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If you find yourself living in regional Australia like me and can only get internet provided by Telstra, then you’d know my damn pain!!!

CAPPED FUCKING INTERNET!!!

Come on Telstra, make your packages better. You guys are cunts. This slow internet is fucking annoying, this is slower than dial-up. ARgGGHHHGHGH.

Migraines. If you suffer from them chronically like I do, then you know my pain. I have had a migraine for a week now, it fucking hurts and is just fucking annoying as fuck. I plan to have a nice dinner party because with medication, my migraine is fairly manageable. Then my heads all like NOPE PAIN MEDS MEAN NOTHING HEAR ME ROAR!!! Forcing me to change the date of my dinner to tomorrow. I swear my friends probably think that I’m using it as an excuse to blow them off. I’m not, I swear!!!

People who have recently turned to religion in the hopes of getting a guy. This one is regarding one specific girl. She was fucking some dude who every now and then goes fuckwit insane and goes all Christian and preachy. She has decided to do the same in order to, I don’t know, MARRY THE FUCKING GUY!?!?! The main reason I’m sick of her shit though is, I posted a link to the Bill Nye and Ken Ham debate on Facebook. This bitch comments saying that I need to find Jesus and that I am a bad person blah blah fucking blah. I have never found a Facebook delete button so fucking quick on this slow capped fucking internet!

On the upside, I am finally back on the grid with my new shiny gold iPhone. Thanks Telstra and Australia Post for taking A MONTH to get it to me.<sarcasm> You guys are brilliant. </sarcasm> Fuckwits

Oh oh oh oh ONE MORE THING

SCHAPELLE MOTHERFUCKING CORBY BITCH IS GUILTY AS FUCK!! I really do not care that she is getting parole. Bitch deserved the firing squad. Should be serving every second of her sentence. I don’t care that she’s a pretty white girl that had such a future ahead of her! She smuggled a fuckload of pot into a country she visited regularly and KNEW the penalties surrounding this offence. Don’t waste TV time, money or really anything covering her sob story of being locked up in a Balinese prison. Yes it was rough, you deserved it. 

and that ends tonight’s 1am rant

PEACE

Late night TV

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Good evening people of the internet!!!!

Tonight’s viewing is an oldish classic: Gilmore Girls.

I love it, The mother/daughter dynamic is that of which every girl wants. Rory’s life would be blissfully perfect to have. I myself would prefer to attend Harvard over Yale but that’s just my opinion. 

Everything from the overbearing grandparents to the humble people of Star’s Hollow make this show amazing. It is a perfect show to watch if you are feeling a little down. 

Now I wonder, where did Alexis Bledel go?? I love her as an actress and she is gorgeous! I hope she resurfaces in the mainstream film world again, I’d love to see that!

and now back to my Gilmore Girls marathon

Goodnight and thanks for coming!

P.s. I just googled Alexis Bledel and she is 31!!!!! Time passes so fast!

 

Movie Review: This Means War (2012)

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Originally posted on Christa Simpson:

I finally buckled down and bought Netflix and boy was I pleasantly surprised to find this movie.

Here are three reasons why you might like it too (or maybe not). ;-)

     A.  CIA is hot;

     B.  Tom Hardy is hot;

     3.  Chris Pine is hot (especially when he’s hugging it out with Tom Hardy).

My Review:

This movie had action, comedy and romance; a perfect combination. If you’re wondering where the war part comes in, it has to do with the love triangle. Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) has a best friend who thinks she needs to lighten up and date more often, so she posts her raunchy college photos on an online dating site. Lauren gets lots of hits, but refuses to use the site.  As she goes to shut the laptop down, one guy catches her attention. The sexy CIA agent, Tuck (Tom Hardy), who claims to be a…

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Cyclones and not being paid on time

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Good Morning folks,

So my rant today is mainly about work.

My job requires me to drive from place to place and make things in stores look pretty (such an important job) and due to the fact there is a fucking CYCLONE in my neck of the woods I thought I’d follow the many warnings stating DO NOT DRIVE. I emailed my boss and told her that due to this weather event that has been all over the news, I was not putting myself (or the company) in danger by working. If anything happened whilst I was driving, the company would be liable. I thought this was a sensible move that she would appreciate. 

Boy was I wrong.

Not only is she about to fire me because I won’t work in CYCLONIC CONDITIONS she has WITHHELD one weeks pay that I have already earnt because of this injustice of not working.

I am mad.

Also if you get told you’re being paid on a Friday, you’d expect to see money in your account Friday morning. NOT GET TOLD LATER THAT YOU GET PAID MIDNIGHT FRIDAY!! First I was meant to be paid Monday then Tuesday then Wednesday and now after calling payroll and not my twit of a TL I find out I’m getting paid at midnight

 

RAGE

 

Thats all folks.

Peace and stay safe those in cyclone affected areas.

Drinking games

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So my birthday came and went and with it went every ounce of dignity I have.

Being the fact my birthday falls on Australia Day (Our version of 4th of July) tradition dictates that we all drink to excess, this for us was achieved through drinking games.

The first game started at 10am, no breakfast had been eaten so it was already starting off bad. every single rule, I swear had “scull your drink” NOT A GOOD IDEA! by 1pm I was WASTED! This is also my first birthday without my 2 most amazing best friends. 10 years of having them there and now they aren’t, it hit me bad. Kiah decided to video call me, I haven’t seen her face in over 6 months and there she was! I cried and cried and cried which got me thinking, I NEED TO RESOLVE THINGS WITH KIERAN! So I found myself on the phone to him drunkenly apologising for our fight and proclaiming my love for him. He booked a flight asap and arrives in less than 2 hours. 

I then told my FwB/Roommate that I want a relationship, he’s kinda mad that I brought it up while with company, I understand that and apologised and all in all regret everything that happened on my birthday.

The hangover sucked, I was regretful as fuck, and pretty sure I wont be invited out anywhere again.

woooo great birthday!!!

Leave tales of your regretful nights out in comments, also I need new friends so that would be great too :)

Fucking spiders (rant)

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Okay so I live in Australia, the land where everything wants to kill you and I am TERRIFIED of spiders.

Now there’s this one spider lurking in my room somewhere just plotting it’s evil rise to power. It is a harmless spider called a huntsman and they terrify me more then any other spider on this continent. Why am I scared of a harmless, non lethal spider you ask? Google ‘huntsman spider’. THEY ARE HUGE AND HAIRY AND LIVE TO LURK AND EAT BUGS AND JUST BE FUCKING SCARY. I am not exaggerating one bit! The spider in my room is AT LEAST the size of a large saucer, immune to bug spray and I want to set my room on fire. I have sprayed a entire giant tin of bug spray in every nook and cranny (I’m also yet to find out what a cranny is so if anyone knows please reply, this has plagued me for years) and I still can’t find the fucker, though I was just nodding off to sleep and I swear it felt It crawl on my hand (could have been the frill of my pillow) but still I felt something!
Not only is the spider giving me grief, my roommate finds it absolutely fucking hilarious that I am that scared of spiders. I even told him the traumatic childhood story of how I got bitten by one of the deadliest spiders in the world and nearly died, thank god for copious amounts of anti venom or I would not be writing it.
He is laughing, saying it’s a ridiculous fear and that I shouldn’t get worked up.
HOW IS THIS FEAR RIDICULOUS!?!

I am so worked up over the damn spider that I’m sitting outside my room not wanting to go back in.

Stupid fucking spider.
I will find you.
I will kill you.
I will scream while killing you
And I will enjoy it,.

Fuck you spider and peace out world!

Like if you hate spiders , comment if you think my fear is rational and go jump off a cliff if you agree with my roommate because obviously you’re a cunt